The #1 Result of Fear and How to Overcome It
Fear has held too many people back from pursuing their truest desires. Whether we are afraid of failure, being criticized or getting hurt, we all encounter this emotion that has the power to create both physical and emotional barriers in our lives.
I recently had an experience while on vacation in Bora Bora which reminded me why we need to raise our consciousness and see fear for what it truly is, FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL.
It was the day before sailed to Fiji and we were busy making preparations. Earlier that day we had made a quick dinghy trip to the pharmacy and supermarket in Vaitape. As we were climbing into the dinghy four hooded guys were just pulling in, the scene looked out place especially in Bora Bora. As we sped away, I was relieved to be leaving.
Later that day, during our stop to fuel station, I needed to make some photocopies. I walked over to the town centre and 100m from my destination, I heard some men shouting from behind me. I quickly turned around in what was probably 0.5-1seconds to see a group of men waving at me, beckoning me to come towards them.
My heart leaped, I quickly turned forward and saw a woman about to mount a bicycle. My first instinct was to speed up and run towards her, but something happened and suddenly an inner voice speaking said, “look again”. When I turned around to the same spot, I saw a sign above those men that read “Marina Service” and now saw a woman with the men waving to me. It was the woman who had helped me pick out a new snorkel mask earlier that day.
“How did they know that I needed copies?” I thought to myself. However, I was relieved and felt so silly all at once. Went over and they helped with my copies. The other coping place was closed.
Heading back to the fuel station the owner greeted me and said, “oh great you got them. I called my daughter who owns the marine supplies store and told her to look out for you walking by.” Laughing, I thought to myself “that’s how they knew!”.
My first instinct to the event was riddled with fear. Fear made something that wasn’t there seem so real. My initial thought was not of these men trying to help me. In that moment I had flashed back to the scene of the hooded men that day playing it into a new experience.
The entire picture as I saw it was completely distorted and so far from the truth. It was a reminder that fear can cause us to run even when no one is chasing or judging us. Help was calling me, but fear showed me a different picture.
I believe this is the number one outcome of fear “reality distortion”. When you operate in fear, things become magnified and everything is now a sign that what you fear is real. Fear is something we learn and is often rooted in a past experience. While fear can serve to warn you, often it is driven by limiting beliefs. A limiting belief can be anything we learn or were taught growing up about a situation that leaves a negative perception about that situation or thing which may have nothing to do with the truth. Now I am not saying throw caution to the wind. But being over cautious is no fun.
Many people settle for normal or even situations they don’t want to be in like a bad job, unhappy relationship or business, because of fear. Some people call it being practical, making up stories of what could happen and why our decision is logical and totally make sense. In the process, you sacrifice your true happiness to avoid the perceived pain, embarrassment and hurt that “could happen”.
I have learnt to take a second look, let go of judgement and see each situation for what it is, not from the perspective of any past experience. Take the time to ask yourself, is what I fear true? Can this really happen? What if what I fear never happens, what would I be experiencing?
I embraced this situation as a reminder to trust in the good of people. To not make judgements too quickly before fully assessing the situation and to always be aware of what is driving a decision. If the underlying reasoning is negative, really sit and evaluate how true are the scenarios playing out in your mind.
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